Finding that higher ground
When I first decided to start this blog, my mindset was "focus on depression and anxiety and how to cope". Recently, I feels it's become more than that.
Previously the image in my head was a mountain. My depression and anxiety was the mountain and I was the mountaineer trying to navigate the familiar yet foreign land. For some reason, things have changed and I'm unsure as to how or why.
Right now, my mind feels like the sea ebbing too and fro on the shore.
I've been meditating, exercising and doing yoga. I've also given up smoking. Maybe these are the reasons for my mood change?
Whatever the reason, i feel more at peace right now than I have in the past 2 months.
I think I became too self centered with the blog. Perhaps I should have focused of my lifestyle too, my life choices, my life?
As usual, the feelings of happiness and self love are plagued in guilt and doubt, feelings that often come with the self sabotage I'm so used to. Things need to change and I'm in the process of that, I think.
I'm not cured of my depression or anxiety, (and whatever other labels I'm described with) not by a long shot. But if I can find some island of peace within the mountainous chaos, surely it's not so selfish of me to stay there for a while?
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