"Black Dog" depression
I saw a video a few years back about depression, it was called "I had a black dog, his name was depression" published by the World Heath Organisation (2012).
It was the first video that I had seen that didn't try to "jazz-up" depression. I've seen many videos that are the equivalent of the kitten on a wire poster saying "hang in there". No, I don't need that, I can " hang in there" just fine. I need something to relate to when I feel alone, something that says "yes, I understand". This video showed that, in fact I still watch it occasionally even now.
I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 15. I kept getting horrible migraines, nausea and food didn't seem so appealing anymore. When I went to the doctors (the first time) he brushed it off as I was " too young to be depressed". You're never too young for depression. Depression doesn't care if you're young or old, black or white, tall or short. If depression is on its way, its going to grab you by the metaphorical balls.
Balls aside, I was told that I'm too young to have depression. What the doctor didn't know was, I was in an abusive relationship and had been for two years (I would end up staying with him for a further 8 years), I'd been raped several times by various relatives, I'd been physically beaten by one relative for 8 years, I'd started self harming at the age of 3 and was still self harming, I'd developed some weird eating disorder that wasn't quite anorexia but wasn't bulimia either, all of these things would continue for several more years until 2011. But, I was too young for depression and I wasn't given a chance to tell him my story.
I went back again, this time I saw a doctor who took me seriously. He was sympathetic but not in a "there, there" pat on the head way. He listened, he understood, he'd been through it himself. I was put onto various medication and was offered counselling (after an 8 month waiting list) my mum had a field day. I think she was happy that one of her children was "sick" so she could finally say "my life is so hard" and I honestly believe my mother had Munchausen by proxy syndrome. Don't get me wrong I was quite an ill child, but I don't think it was to the degree that mother made it out to be. She's always fought for attention, take my 18th birthday for example when she announced she was pregnant and got upset when I replied with "oh".
Well, little one wants food so I guess that's it for this post!
Stay strong,
Leah x
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc "I had a black dog, his name was depression" published by the World Health Organisation (2012)
It was the first video that I had seen that didn't try to "jazz-up" depression. I've seen many videos that are the equivalent of the kitten on a wire poster saying "hang in there". No, I don't need that, I can " hang in there" just fine. I need something to relate to when I feel alone, something that says "yes, I understand". This video showed that, in fact I still watch it occasionally even now.
I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 15. I kept getting horrible migraines, nausea and food didn't seem so appealing anymore. When I went to the doctors (the first time) he brushed it off as I was " too young to be depressed". You're never too young for depression. Depression doesn't care if you're young or old, black or white, tall or short. If depression is on its way, its going to grab you by the metaphorical balls.
Balls aside, I was told that I'm too young to have depression. What the doctor didn't know was, I was in an abusive relationship and had been for two years (I would end up staying with him for a further 8 years), I'd been raped several times by various relatives, I'd been physically beaten by one relative for 8 years, I'd started self harming at the age of 3 and was still self harming, I'd developed some weird eating disorder that wasn't quite anorexia but wasn't bulimia either, all of these things would continue for several more years until 2011. But, I was too young for depression and I wasn't given a chance to tell him my story.
I went back again, this time I saw a doctor who took me seriously. He was sympathetic but not in a "there, there" pat on the head way. He listened, he understood, he'd been through it himself. I was put onto various medication and was offered counselling (after an 8 month waiting list) my mum had a field day. I think she was happy that one of her children was "sick" so she could finally say "my life is so hard" and I honestly believe my mother had Munchausen by proxy syndrome. Don't get me wrong I was quite an ill child, but I don't think it was to the degree that mother made it out to be. She's always fought for attention, take my 18th birthday for example when she announced she was pregnant and got upset when I replied with "oh".
Well, little one wants food so I guess that's it for this post!
Stay strong,
Leah x
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc "I had a black dog, his name was depression" published by the World Health Organisation (2012)
Comments
Post a Comment